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To many Americans, religious or not, chastity before marriage is a quaint tradition at best and emotionally damaging at worst. After all, more than 90 percent of men and women, according to Guttmacher Institute surveys during the past 50 years, have reported engaging in premarital sex.

And the older a Cty person becomes, many people believe, the more ridiculous it seems to forgo physical intimacy. That's the perspective of Mormon poet Nicole Hardy, who, in a New York Times essay last month, described her decision to join the rest of the modern world.

Hardy, who declined to be interviewed until her forthcoming book is out, had reached a point in her mids at which she believed it no longer was worth holding out. Though she credited her church for giving her family stability and joy, those were not enough for the Seattle writer to remain chaste.

Salt Lake City dating married sex argued about her reasoning. They said she misunderstood Mormon principles. Lumberton NJ hot wife told their own stories and empathized with her complaints.

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There are millions ofunmarried Mormons; some say up to a third of the faith's adult U. For a religion that makes marriage and family central to a person's eternal potential, that can be tough.

Though Mormon men also are expected to be abstinent before marriage, the challenges facing LDS women seem particularly difficult. The church tends to align with a more traditional culture, in which men typically are seen as the deciders and women patiently wait to be asked.

Frances Johnson, an unmarried Salt Lake City dating married sex writer in Washington, D. Sex isn't the doorway to adulthood that makes you the type of person you want to become, she says. There is something adolescent about the LDS singles culture, Johnson says, and that could be because those members often are isolated in their own congregations and sometimes act as if they still are in college or high school, even if they are in their 30s and 40s.

What troubles Chris, who lives in Arlington, Va. Anna not her real name stepped away from the LDS Church for a time and had a romantic relationship that included physical intimacy.

She later returned to the fold and is preparing to marry in the Salt Lake Temple. He presumed she had remained chaste.

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Anna, a year-old Salt Lake City therapist, supports the church's stance and is at peace about her past experience and excited about her current path. She Salt Lake City dating married sex some LDS singles who struggle with the sorrow of being alone, while others are able to reinvest their energy into professional and personal projects and relationships.

She laments daging she sees as the church's sometimes overgeneralized and theological approach to singles, failing to acknowledge the grief and loneliness they endure trying to live LDS wex.

Marybeth Raynes, a Salt Lake City Horny wife Switzerland and sex therapist, says any institution with clear behavior boundaries is going to be difficult for "outliers," those who do not follow all the rules. Such a dynamic can lead to a "split life" for such people, who may choose to give up either their sexuality or their spirituality.

Many single Mormon women do not necessarily crave sex as they age, so much as they long for companionship and the ability to fit in their faith community, she says. They may be Salt Lake City dating married sex than men at forming close ties with other women, creating support networks for themselves.

But can a person be healthy and celibate?

It depends, Raynes says, on how you define healthy. Raynes maintains many women come to a good sense of themselves and their bodies and stay active in the LDS Church. That requires a willingness to grow up, no dsting their circumstances.

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