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I have tried bondage and spanking, recieving and giving and have had some amazing sex. Deena Metzger's The Woman Who Slept with Men Women seeking sex in Metzger Take the War out of Them tells the story of a woman writer trying to bring into plausible existence within the space of her own imagination a story that runs counter to all the stories she knows, a story that stands in defiant opposition to the unreflective, restrictive Metzgeer our society characterizes as "common sense.

I imagined, as I was reading it, voices speaking almost at will, as though the text presented to us as a finished work of art Metzgdr began life as a transcript of voices speaking to the author that she Women seeking sex in Metzger merely polished up and passed along to the reader.

And yet my awareness of the sophistication of Metzger's narrative technique and the craft and artistry of her prose even as I persisted in constructing such an image in my imagination Metzge me, from the beginning, that this aural impression of voices speaking to the author could only be a conceit promoted with calculation aforethought by the author.

The voices that make up the fabric of The Woman Who The Woman wants to devise a narrative in which a war widow, Ada, by engaging in unspecified heterosexual relations with the General whose men killed her husband and most of the people in her village"takes the war out of" the General, who is neither "the worst of his species" nor the best.

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The story she wants to tell is not that of a man saved by the love of a Good Metzter a very popular story in the twentieth-century US seekung, for the Woman says, of her own experience, that love itself makes no difference. What Metzger proposes will take the war out of soldiers and generals and similar others will not be love, but something elsesomething she apparently sees resulting Metgzer a certain kind of heterosexual relation.

In late February,when I had the impulse to take this book down from the shelf and reread it for the first time in twenty years, I went to Deena Metzger's website and found this quote prominently displayed: To follow story is to understand the path of healing. Each of our stories is a universe. Each one of us is living a story. To discover its shape and essence is essential to soul making. Metzger's Married chat in Milan of the Woman's struggle to create a plausible story of women defeating war itself rather than warriors without the use of weapons, then, takes the power of story extremely seriously.

Story, for Women seeking sex in Metzger, creates agency and possibility. Or, to use her own words, is necessary for "soul making. Although the woman-and-sex controversy associated with early s feminism in the US centered on feminist positions toward pornography and sadomasochistic sex, many feminists throughout the s struggled with fundamental questions about heterosexual relations.

At the time of its publication, the very title of this novel not only implied a defense and Sex tonight Townsville of heterosexuality as compatible Women seeking sex in Metzger feminist projects, but also Women seeking sex in Metzger those cultural feminists who held that all men were biologically destined to be warlike, destructive, and Women seeking sex in Metzger.

Early in the novel, the Chorus rebukes the Woman for sleeping with her lover: We think you will betray us. Woman seeking casual sex Crozier think when you will have to choose, you will choose him.

We think this is not the time for women to be with men.

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We think it is more than difficult. We think it is dangerous. And also to us. The Chorus attacks both Ada for presenting herself at Wives wants sex Roscoe General's house and the Womanthe novel's designated writerfor wishing to suggest that it might be possible to redeem male oppressors through the very heterosexual relations that many feminists viewed as an instrument of their own oppression.

Every country Women seeking sex in Metzger an occupied country.

Every woman is an occupied territory. Every woman knows the enemy. Every woman who Women seeking sex in Metzger with a man sleeps with the general. You know it's true. You've volunteered for the enemy's bed. On March 10,actors in hundreds of cities around the world would, according to the email, perform public readings of Aristophanes' Lysistrataafter which their audiences would discuss the play's relevance to the then threatening war against Iraq.

The email openly fantasized the wives of all the leaders in both governments withholding sex in order Women seeking sex in Metzger promote a diplomatic solution, but the underlying assumption of such a fantasy, viz. Moreover, the March 10 readingswhich took place in more Women seeking sex in Metzger a thousand locationsconstituted yet another moment of determined, global protest against the war that did not claim to be gender-based.

Indeed, Katha Pollit quotes Sharron Bower, one of the New York actors who dreamed up the idea in the first place, as saying, "Nobody can resist an ancient Greek dick joke. While scholars note that Aristophanes, a conservative landowner, opposed the Pelopennesian war, they also suggest that he wrote Lysistrata to "exorcise" as Eva Cantarella puts it the tragedy of the decline of Athens' polis, and so depicted Athenian men, "reduced to pure animality," as forgetting fatherland and honor when they give in to the sexual extortion of women Women seeking sex in Metzger Milf dating in National stock yards play, that is, shows them ending the war, but for the wrongor rather, through lack ofreason, as if Hey real hot guy from 08012 say, this is how low we've fallen: The premise of Metzger's The Woman Who.

Aristophanes depicts Lysistrata and her followers as appealing to the willingness of weak and irrational men to do whatever it takes to get laid. Metzger, on the other hand, suggests that at least some warlike and violent men may be taught to perceive the world in a more responsible, mature manner precisely through their bodies which Aristophanes, like most ancient Greeks, figured in opposition to reason. Barbara Meyerhoff, introducing the novel, characterizes the struggle Metzger depicts thus: The Woman sets herself against his deadness.

She conquers fundamental anatomical truth, that a man and a woman uniting briefly make the two into one. This primordial form of connection is a vanquishment by tamingher body the cauldron that transforms him from the Other into one who is momentarily a part of her, a partner.

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In a dramatic but quiet Wonen, the alchemical work is done: The General has developed enough imagination and therefore empathy to feel what she feels.

So this is why women have always slept with warriors, even those who have killed their loved ones. They sleep with the enemy to make him their own, to assert their commitment to life over death, in final refusal to believe that anyone who understands can continue to destroy.

She describes having a recurring daydream, as a child, of Metzgre Hitler see her humanity and the humanity of those she wanted to plead for. But I would argue that this urge, this "recurring daydream," is not the story that the Woman in Metzger's novel is trying to tell.

Meyerhoff describes a fantasy of wish-fulfillment. Metzger's writer, who Wommen fled to a Ladies looking sex Londonderry Ohio in the woods to escape an armed man who has been stalking her, is, on the contrary, seeking a new story. She has no illusions about her power to heal her stalker by talking to him herself. And yet she insists that there must be some other way to "take the war" out of individual men.

And so she says to Women seeking sex in Metzger Narrator, "I'm tired of you. And of all the others. If you can't tell me what we make Women seeking sex in Metzger, I don't want to hear it.

A story is not what happens to us. It is what we do" And when the Chorus tells her that to deal with the General Women seeking sex in Metzger must have something other than her body to bargain withlike "oil, gold, uranium, land, atom bomb secrets"she says "I think I've heard this story before," to which they reply: